My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
