If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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