you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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