Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
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