No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
