I wanna bring you to show and tell
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
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The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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