if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize