We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
