i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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