Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
