There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
