The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
