a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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