I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
