Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
