just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
porn star boner night. come get it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
