Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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