Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
