we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
