there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
