I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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