How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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