The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The best revenge is premature balding
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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