Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
