Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize