I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
