I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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