I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
