the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
