worst night to have a conscience
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He shit in the fireplace
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
