I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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