im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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