The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
