if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
