I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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