At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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