the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
