You work out of a Hotel?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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