Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
