for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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