The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
