Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
