You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
why do cheetos always look like penises
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Enjoy the penises
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
