He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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