There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
