For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
