Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
