they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
it's like iHOP with fire
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
