3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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