I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
