Kiss
Puke
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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