Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish you could order shots online.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
