i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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