I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
