So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
