no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
