Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
that's an acceptable place to lick
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
