singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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