Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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