I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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