another moral hangover. fuck.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
